About the Speaker Speech Topics Client List References For Planners E-mail
About the Speaker Speech Topics Client List References For Planners E-mail
Have you ever met a "skunk person"? Oh yes, they’re out there, the
pessimistic constant complaining, energy draining, negative attitude people.
Skunk people come in all genders, positions and ages. You find them in the
workplace, in professional organizations, in our families. You might even be
married to one! And…just like their black and white furry critter counter
parts, they can make life miserable for those around them.
What’s the fallout? Decreased motivation Decreased energy Decreased creativity Decreased health
What do you do with a “skunk person”?
Get rid of them, or at least put them where they can do the
least damage.
For example, you may not be able to fire a co-worker, but perhaps you
might suggest she work on an individual project, one that does not
require your input. Then be really busy with your own work when she
comes around. Remove yourself physically and or mentally.
Acknowledge the skunk by saying, “You might be right.” (Or course,
that also implies, “You might be wrong.”) This carefully chosen phrase
takes away a fight. Then immediately leave and focus again on your goals.
Or at the very least, close your door! Dilute their power.
Surround yourself with positive people and resources. What do you listen
to and read? Create a personal “Board of Directors” composed of role
models, rebels, friends, family…even the dog who loves anyway. And,
don’t forget to count your blessings, track your own goal progress
and achievements, reread “encouraging words” you’ve received from
others, do something kind for someone else. This daily diet of “good stuff”
will help protect you from the odor of the skunks. Plug your nose.
Sometimes you just have to make the decision that a skunk’s behavior will
not affect yours. All situations in life have their challenges. Working
around a skunk is not easy, but remember, you chose your job. You don’t
always get to choose who is around you. If you can’t handle the smell,
you might start looking for fresher air.
The environments of home and work are not just the ones created by others,
they also include the ones we create for others. So, as you look for skunks
and analyze the aroma of your surroundings, don’t forget to smell yourself!
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It doesn’t take long to “sense” the presence of skunk people for they have a
big effect on the environment and the behaviors of those around them. Their
attitudes and actions permeate the home or work environment. Before you know it, you find yourself experiencing the following:
The mantra of a skunk includes phrases such as: it’s no use trying, that will
never work, it’s not in the budget, we’ve tried that before, it is just
not fair. This diet of victim mentality is contagious. Since our actions
follow our dominant thoughts we ask the question, “Why continue to fight
for a change?”
Doing battle with a skunk is depressing and exhausting. You find yourself
listening to the same situation over and over again. Because of their
acceptance of helplessness and powerlessness there is no movement toward
problem solving. The constant spinning of the conversation wheels wears
you out. Any remaining energy is used in defending yourself or cleaning
up their mess. You just get tired of the battles.
Because the skunk already has the answer of “no solution”, anything you
have to say is unnecessary in her eyes. Or if you’re brave enough to
suggest an alternative, you do it with narrowness and cautiousness because
you know “you’ll be shot down.” In the end, you quit looking for options.
The stress level builds when a skunk is present, especially if you are a
go-getter, problem solver, creative thinker, positive person. You’ve just
met your opposite, one who is content, and perhaps even happy, to spend
their time in negatives and complaints. Perhaps you’ve read this quote
by a contented “skunk”… “I’ve been beaten, kicked, lied to, cussed at,
swindled, taken advantage of and laughed at but the only reason I hang
around this place is to see what happens next!” Your stress level builds
even more if this non-productive behavior is linked to you. Your job
may be at stake. Before you know it, the stress has lowered your
physical and mental resistance and you’re sick!
Just like the real skunks, it’s important to remember, a skunk
doesn’t mind it’s own odor. Therefore, you must take action.
© Copyright 2001-2008 Jolene Brown. All articles belong to Jolene Brown, but you are free to
reprint or repost them providing that you note Jolene's copyright, leave the article
unaltered, and include Jolene's phone number 319-643-2429 and email address
Jolene@JoleneBrown.com.
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Jolene Brown, CSP 1636 Eureka Ave. West Branch, IA 52358 319-643-2429 319-643-5541 fax |
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